Mobiles

Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry once more.

I recently changed my cell carrier. This is something that I have probably done less often than most people. I have been fortunate enough to have had company supplied cell phones for the majority of the last 15 years. I have only had a personal cell phone 3 times; in Toronto around 9/11, in Calgary 6 years ago, and most recently when we moved to Vancouver.

I had a Motorola Razer that I had picked up in Edmonton almost 2 years ago. That was a painful experience. I paid cash for the phone so that I could avoid signing a contract. Unfortunately, if I wanted anything other than pay-as-you-go, I needed to sign a contract for 12 months. For those inexperienced in dealing with retail mobile, don’t try to debate contractual policy with a teenage $10-hour kid who would much rather be doing anything other than listen to you moan.

The mobile industry in Canada already prices its handsets and airtime fairly for some of its clientele. If you are a corporate customer, you generally pay full pop for your phone up front, and pay much lower usage and monthly charges. Personal mobiles though require the ignorant masses to think that they are getting a great deal on a free phone. Unfortunately your 3-year contract is massively overpriced; you are paying off the cost of your handset over 36 months, with interest.

This is actually similar to how Bell Canada used to charge inflated prices on their long distance in order to subsidize the cost of their infrastructure costs on local service. The CRTC slapped them down.

I wanted mobile e-mail and web surfing in the palm of my hand. Nobody will let you have that without a 36-month contract, except for Virgin Mobile & Koodo. With these guys, you have a wide variety to choose from, so long as its initials are BlackBerry.

I have become quite attached to my iPod, so I was leaning towards an iPhone. I waited, and researched, and I waited some more. I saw Fido advertising a used iPhone for $99. A used iPhone I thought? What kind of beast was this? It turns out that iPhones returned within the first 15 days are considered used, and go through a factory refurbishment.

So I get everything set up with Fido, and they explain that it may take an hour to port over my phone number. No problem. I received the new phone the very next day with a Toronto temporary number. No one was able to explain why. I gave them a whole day to port the number, but it wasn’t ported over. I called a few times and kept getting interesting stories.

After a few days, I received a call from my old carrier; Rogers. They had a department they called customer loyalty or customer retention to try to get you to stay with them, and they just wanted to confirm that I really wanted to leave them. I could actually hear this guy winking. This was like the wacko high school girlfriend who does not want to break-up. Ever!

I’m glad I chatted this fellow up a little because he also explained to me that if the account balance was more than $50, they would block releasing the number. Anyone whose mobile bill is less $50 a month, put your hand up! Anyone? Anyone at all. I removed all the roadblocks and was up and running on my new toy.

I think I managed to speak to everyone at the Fido call center. They liked me so much, they sent me another iPhone, and it took them over a month to credit me back after I returned it.

I thought I was ready to post this a few weeks ago, but lo and behold, I had received a bill from my previous supplier, Rogers, for $360. When I called in, a pleasant young fellow who initially could not understand why I would be so perturbed, explained to me that I had renewed my contract in July 2007 and this was an early cancellation charge for $20 a month. We agreed that the cancellation fee was for 18 months.

I explained to the 20-something/$12-hour guy that I had signed a 1-year contract in December 2007, and was actually cancelling 6 months after my obligation ended. I asked him if he could see any bills before December 2007 and he answered no, so we agreed that I only became a Rogers customer in December 2007.We then agreed that July 2007 until January 2011 (18 months from now) was 42 months.

Next came the questions he should have expected but didn’t. If I only became a Rogers customer in December 2007, how could I have signed a new contract 5 months earlier? After a few seconds of silence, I asked him how often he had seen a 42-month contract. I think they put you on hold so often because they need to consult with a 30-something/$20-hour stupidvisor. (Intentional)

I am expecting a refund check in the mail, after only 3 months. My mobile ordeal is older than my niece, and smells as bad as the last dirty diaper.

Cheers folks