Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.
When I was working at my business machine supplier in the 80’s &90’s, I was asked to help reorganize our local showroom, working with a tenured sales guys I’ll call Juan (The names have been changed to protect the ignorant, I mean innocent). He had grand plans to show off the most expensive computer system we sold, and was telling me how we were going to move around all the furniture and create the greatest showcase every seen anywhere, anytime!
After he graced me with this insight into his vision of how we would create the greatest display of technology on this planet, or any other (my wife refers to me as a snark-asaurus), I calmly explained to him that getting his fancy-schmancy computer required the sign off from the head of our IT department, as did all of our computer purchases. This is what followed;
(Juan) “Well the VP of our region asked me to set up this showroom properly, so it will be OK.”
(Me) “Very good, but we still can’t buy the computer without the approval of the director for IT.”
(Juan) ”Well the VP of our region asked me to…”
This went back and forth about 4 or 5 times until, in frustration, I asked Juan if I could tell him a joke. Somewhat confused, he reluctantly told me to go ahead (Although he probably will not remember, this used to be my brother Frank’s favorite joke; he would tell it with such relish. Anyone who knows Frank will flash to him “performing” a joke; it’s a Bradley thing, performing a joke.);
A young lad working at the grocery store noticed a woman searching through the stores produce department, and decided he would offer his assistance. To his query if he could help her find something, she replied “Yes I’m looking for some broccoli.”
“I’m sorry m’am, but we don’t have any broccoli.”
“I don’t think you understand; I’d like to buy some broccoli.”
“Yes m’am, but unfortunately we don’t have any in the store.”
“Now young man, I’m not sure you get my point; I have a wonderful recipe for broccoli soufflé and for that I would need to buy some broccoli.”
“I heard you, but we still don’t have any broccoli.”
“My husband’s favorite dish is broccoli soufflé, and I need the basic ingredient; broccoli.”
“OK lady, but I’m trying to tell you that we don’t have any!”
“I’m not sure you get my point young man. Usually when presented with broccoli soufflé my husband becomes quite amorous, and it has been an awfully long time since last….well…you know.”
Exasperated, the young clerk switches gears and asks the lady; “Hey lady, can you spell the cat in catatonic?”
“I don’t see what this has to do with broccoli, but certainly; C A T.”
“Great, now can you spell the dog in dogmatic?”
“Yes, D O G.”
“OK, how about the flip in broccoli?” (In the original version, it is a much rudder 4-letter word beginning with F)
Dumbfounded, she responds “There’s no flip in broccoli!”
To which he shouts; “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you lady, there’s no flippin broccoli!!!”
Juan chuckled appreciatively, yet still gave me a funny look. He immediately jumped back in with; “Now as I was saying, our regional VP has asked me to set the showroom up to show off all of our equipment, and we need to get the computer system in here to do that right.”
“Hey Juan” I answered, “There’s no flippin broccoli!!!”
“Yes that was a very funny. No about this computer system; you see our regional VP….” I can’t remember what else he may have said, because I was busy searching for Alan Funt. Yes it is yet one more age-defining statement.
When I am faced with someone who does not appear to hear what I am saying, I bring up this story and the joke.
I have unfortunately had the opportunity to tell this story too many times in the workplace. There are far too many people out there who get fixated on something and ignore all else. Sometimes when I am forced to tell this story to someone, they get the point.
All too often though, it’s another Juan.
Sofa King!
It’s OK Mom, you wouldn’t get it.
Cheers folks.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Moms
Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.
Everybody loves their Mom. Everybody thinks their Mom is the best Mom in the world. I know my Mom was the best.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying my Mom is any better than other Moms in the world. She was the best Mom for me when I was growing up, as well as being the best Mom for me ever since.
Most families have Moms. When the right Mom brings the right child into the world, the world is made a better place. My wife Nita’s Mom is an amazing Mom, and Nita was and still is the right child. The world is most definitely a better place.
My Mom is the right Mom, but there have been times when my being the right child was doubtful. I’ve done some things in my life that did not make my Mom too proud of me. I joke with friends that in High School I was voted most likely to succeed…..In Jail!
My Mom has an interesting story about having to go to the Cote-St-Luc Police department to pick up one of her offspring, 13 at the time. It seems that a gang of kids went to Rita’s house one Tuesday afternoon, and her Dad came home to find all these teenagers drinking beer in his house. He called the cops, and the rest you can guess. Not that this had anything to do with me.
When I first moved to Ottawa, I called my Mom one Sunday, and we were chatting about a number of things. I mentioned to her that I had just finished stripping all the paint off my dresser. The dresser was something my parents had picked up, and had been used by me, or me and my brother, for all my life, so when I left home, I was allowed to bring it to Ottawa.
I was chatting with her about all the work I had put into the dresser and explained that I had found 5 layers of paint. My last comment was greeted with silence. After about 10 seconds my Mom explained, quite patiently, that with 5 kids, it was usually necessary to repaint our furniture after someone would ruin the finish. Apparently, I had been responsible for necessitating 4 of the 5 layers of paint on that dresser. Do the math; I’ll wait. Have I told you I have the best Mom in the world?
Another time, I mentioned to my Mom that I had seen a mother in downtown Ottawa with her toddler in a 5-point harness, on a tether. I joked about kids needing to be on a leash. Once again, the 10-second silence break, after which my Mom explains; “I tried everything, but you would never listen and would always wander around no matter what I did.”
Obviously while in Ottawa I was channeling politicians, opening my mouth just to change feet. This is the period in my life when I should have laced my shoes with dental floss.
A few years later, while living in Guelph, I had driven to Toronto to pick up my parents. My Mom would always let my Dad (we called him Big Al, which I will detail in a later blog) sit in the front, so Mom was in the back seat with my daughters. As we were driving by Pearson Airport, Big Al looks over at the digital dash and says; “Ooh, 130, is that you’re oil pressure?”
“No” I answered, “that’s the speedometer,” From the back seat my Mom perks up with “Oh, I’ve never done 130 before!” Being the eternal smartass, I shot back with “Welcome to Toronto Mom!” Did you know that I have the best Mom in the world?
Every single one of these foibles, adventures, and events was forgotten (if not forgiven) when my Mom was able to hold in her arms her very first grandchild. As young women, Amanda & Erin have made a habit of visiting with their Granny for a week a year, at the end of the summer. This is something that all 3 of them look forward to. Amanda will actually be proof-reading this while visiting her Granny. Did I mention that she is the best Mom in the world?
No matter what others thought of me, my Mom always knew that the world was a better place. She may have thought that it was a better place because of me, BUT I will always know that the world is a better place because of her.
My sister and her wife are now mothers themselves, and the world will be a better place.
Welcome to our world Ruby. You have the best Moms in the world!
Cheers Ruby!
Everybody loves their Mom. Everybody thinks their Mom is the best Mom in the world. I know my Mom was the best.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying my Mom is any better than other Moms in the world. She was the best Mom for me when I was growing up, as well as being the best Mom for me ever since.
Most families have Moms. When the right Mom brings the right child into the world, the world is made a better place. My wife Nita’s Mom is an amazing Mom, and Nita was and still is the right child. The world is most definitely a better place.
My Mom is the right Mom, but there have been times when my being the right child was doubtful. I’ve done some things in my life that did not make my Mom too proud of me. I joke with friends that in High School I was voted most likely to succeed…..In Jail!
My Mom has an interesting story about having to go to the Cote-St-Luc Police department to pick up one of her offspring, 13 at the time. It seems that a gang of kids went to Rita’s house one Tuesday afternoon, and her Dad came home to find all these teenagers drinking beer in his house. He called the cops, and the rest you can guess. Not that this had anything to do with me.
When I first moved to Ottawa, I called my Mom one Sunday, and we were chatting about a number of things. I mentioned to her that I had just finished stripping all the paint off my dresser. The dresser was something my parents had picked up, and had been used by me, or me and my brother, for all my life, so when I left home, I was allowed to bring it to Ottawa.
I was chatting with her about all the work I had put into the dresser and explained that I had found 5 layers of paint. My last comment was greeted with silence. After about 10 seconds my Mom explained, quite patiently, that with 5 kids, it was usually necessary to repaint our furniture after someone would ruin the finish. Apparently, I had been responsible for necessitating 4 of the 5 layers of paint on that dresser. Do the math; I’ll wait. Have I told you I have the best Mom in the world?
Another time, I mentioned to my Mom that I had seen a mother in downtown Ottawa with her toddler in a 5-point harness, on a tether. I joked about kids needing to be on a leash. Once again, the 10-second silence break, after which my Mom explains; “I tried everything, but you would never listen and would always wander around no matter what I did.”
Obviously while in Ottawa I was channeling politicians, opening my mouth just to change feet. This is the period in my life when I should have laced my shoes with dental floss.
A few years later, while living in Guelph, I had driven to Toronto to pick up my parents. My Mom would always let my Dad (we called him Big Al, which I will detail in a later blog) sit in the front, so Mom was in the back seat with my daughters. As we were driving by Pearson Airport, Big Al looks over at the digital dash and says; “Ooh, 130, is that you’re oil pressure?”
“No” I answered, “that’s the speedometer,” From the back seat my Mom perks up with “Oh, I’ve never done 130 before!” Being the eternal smartass, I shot back with “Welcome to Toronto Mom!” Did you know that I have the best Mom in the world?
Every single one of these foibles, adventures, and events was forgotten (if not forgiven) when my Mom was able to hold in her arms her very first grandchild. As young women, Amanda & Erin have made a habit of visiting with their Granny for a week a year, at the end of the summer. This is something that all 3 of them look forward to. Amanda will actually be proof-reading this while visiting her Granny. Did I mention that she is the best Mom in the world?
No matter what others thought of me, my Mom always knew that the world was a better place. She may have thought that it was a better place because of me, BUT I will always know that the world is a better place because of her.
My sister and her wife are now mothers themselves, and the world will be a better place.
Welcome to our world Ruby. You have the best Moms in the world!
Cheers Ruby!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Pedestrians
Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a born & bred Montréaler. We instinctively have excellent self-preservation skills. The reason; Montréal drivers. My sister-in-law, returning from a Montréal business trip a few years ago, told my wife on deplaning in Edmonton; “I now know why Gerry drives the way he does!”
A Montréal driver may think he is to be feared, but at a very early age, the Montréal pedestrian discovers the one thing a Montréal driver fears above all else; his insurance payments going up.
While attending college, I was involved with an exchange with a college in Moose Jaw. In Moose Jaw, we were of course off to the pub. My host, Gary, parked the car, and told me the bar was just across the street, so off I went, in the middle of the block, crossing the street. While I was crossing, I noticed the police car, whose flashing red lights had fired up. I hurried across to get out of his way; he had some serious crime to take care of.
The cop got out of his car and asked if I realized that I had jaywalked. I told him no, I had no idea what jaywalking was. After he discovered that I was from out-of-province and wasn’t yanking his chain, he explained jaywalking to me. He was again dumbfounded when we had the same conversation 2 hours later when Gary and I left the pub. The next day, we had 2 more chats on the same subject. The last chat he started with; “So when are you going home, Montréal?”
Around the same time, author Josh Freed’s book “The Anglo guide to survival in Québec” was published. My brother went out to get the book so we could have a good chuckle. Halfway through the book, he burst out laughing saying “Oh my god! He’s writing about you!” My brother was referring to the section on pedestrians, specifically the part about Kamikaze Pedestrian. According to Mr. Freed, we dress in black, are happiest crossing in front of trucks & buses on unlighted streets, and do not look before crossing.
I admit to my brother’s characterization of me. He is absolutely correct. Josh Freed however is wrong. We do look; we just don’t allow drivers to catch us checking. Like Mexican drivers, if we don’t make eye contact, we don’t have to back down. Most Québec drivers subconsciously know this and respect it.
Us old-school Montréal Kamikaze pedestrians do have a secret weapon; we use The Force. After quick sidelong glances, we can “feel” what’s going on around us, and we know what we can get away with.
My daughters would freak out when we would be walking around Toronto, and all of a sudden Dad scoots across the street. After a very short while, I realized they were not blessed with my gift, so I would give them a heads-up “Let’s go!” They would still be a little off balance, but usually managed to cross the street with me. Relax folks, nobody died!
Most pedestrians today do not use The Force, and are completely unaware of any impending danger to themselves or others. I mean real danger; ambulances, lacerations, fractures, operating rooms; but worst of all, insurance companies!
I think we have too many distractions in our lives today; cell phones, MP3, iPods. I think people are losing themselves in these little worlds, and not paying attention to the real world around them. I don’t think there is malice involved, just short attention spans.
Perhaps we need walking schools. After all, most of today’s drivers have gone to driving school. How many pedestrian vs. car accidents could have been prevented if we forced people to learn how to walk in a busy downtown?
We are supposed to be sharing the roads. Drivers, wielding a 700 Kg to 1500 Kg moving vehicle, can expect to be fined when they try to bend the rules for their own convenience. Unfortunately, Police have far more important things to do than to try and enforce common sense in pedestrians, so we get to see lots of rules bend.
Here’s an experiment to try on your own. Stand on a busy street corner. Count moving violations by drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians. After an hour, the drivers will have a baseball score, the cyclists will have a football score, and the pedestrians will have a basketball score. When was the last time you heard of a pedestrian getting a ticket for running a red light?
My wife was dying to see how this post turned out. You see, in her eyes, I am both an insane pedestrian, and a crazy driver. Guilty on both counts sweetie. Dangerous? Not really. After all, nobody died.
Cheers folks.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a born & bred Montréaler. We instinctively have excellent self-preservation skills. The reason; Montréal drivers. My sister-in-law, returning from a Montréal business trip a few years ago, told my wife on deplaning in Edmonton; “I now know why Gerry drives the way he does!”
A Montréal driver may think he is to be feared, but at a very early age, the Montréal pedestrian discovers the one thing a Montréal driver fears above all else; his insurance payments going up.
While attending college, I was involved with an exchange with a college in Moose Jaw. In Moose Jaw, we were of course off to the pub. My host, Gary, parked the car, and told me the bar was just across the street, so off I went, in the middle of the block, crossing the street. While I was crossing, I noticed the police car, whose flashing red lights had fired up. I hurried across to get out of his way; he had some serious crime to take care of.
The cop got out of his car and asked if I realized that I had jaywalked. I told him no, I had no idea what jaywalking was. After he discovered that I was from out-of-province and wasn’t yanking his chain, he explained jaywalking to me. He was again dumbfounded when we had the same conversation 2 hours later when Gary and I left the pub. The next day, we had 2 more chats on the same subject. The last chat he started with; “So when are you going home, Montréal?”
Around the same time, author Josh Freed’s book “The Anglo guide to survival in Québec” was published. My brother went out to get the book so we could have a good chuckle. Halfway through the book, he burst out laughing saying “Oh my god! He’s writing about you!” My brother was referring to the section on pedestrians, specifically the part about Kamikaze Pedestrian. According to Mr. Freed, we dress in black, are happiest crossing in front of trucks & buses on unlighted streets, and do not look before crossing.
I admit to my brother’s characterization of me. He is absolutely correct. Josh Freed however is wrong. We do look; we just don’t allow drivers to catch us checking. Like Mexican drivers, if we don’t make eye contact, we don’t have to back down. Most Québec drivers subconsciously know this and respect it.
Us old-school Montréal Kamikaze pedestrians do have a secret weapon; we use The Force. After quick sidelong glances, we can “feel” what’s going on around us, and we know what we can get away with.
My daughters would freak out when we would be walking around Toronto, and all of a sudden Dad scoots across the street. After a very short while, I realized they were not blessed with my gift, so I would give them a heads-up “Let’s go!” They would still be a little off balance, but usually managed to cross the street with me. Relax folks, nobody died!
Most pedestrians today do not use The Force, and are completely unaware of any impending danger to themselves or others. I mean real danger; ambulances, lacerations, fractures, operating rooms; but worst of all, insurance companies!
I think we have too many distractions in our lives today; cell phones, MP3, iPods. I think people are losing themselves in these little worlds, and not paying attention to the real world around them. I don’t think there is malice involved, just short attention spans.
Perhaps we need walking schools. After all, most of today’s drivers have gone to driving school. How many pedestrian vs. car accidents could have been prevented if we forced people to learn how to walk in a busy downtown?
We are supposed to be sharing the roads. Drivers, wielding a 700 Kg to 1500 Kg moving vehicle, can expect to be fined when they try to bend the rules for their own convenience. Unfortunately, Police have far more important things to do than to try and enforce common sense in pedestrians, so we get to see lots of rules bend.
Here’s an experiment to try on your own. Stand on a busy street corner. Count moving violations by drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians. After an hour, the drivers will have a baseball score, the cyclists will have a football score, and the pedestrians will have a basketball score. When was the last time you heard of a pedestrian getting a ticket for running a red light?
My wife was dying to see how this post turned out. You see, in her eyes, I am both an insane pedestrian, and a crazy driver. Guilty on both counts sweetie. Dangerous? Not really. After all, nobody died.
Cheers folks.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Pan-Canadian
Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.
I recently was chatting with the owner of the company I work for, and allowed him the opportunity to opine; “Is there anywhere you haven’t lived?” I have lived in, in order; Montréal, Ottawa, Gloucester (really part of Ottawa), Guelph, Whitby, Scarborough, Toronto, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, and finally North Vancouver. The first 7 cities are no more than 6 hours apart.
This may seem like a lot of moving to some of you, but not us. For those of you who don’t know me, my wife Nita works for a national organization, and has been transferred around the country a bit. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not complaining at all. Nita is the center of my being. She is my soul-mate and my one true love. My dedication to her has no bounds.
Moving has not been a sacrifice; it has been an adventure. It has always been a memorable adventure, because it is something we have experienced together. These are adventures that have made our lives exciting. These are experiences that I would not trade for anything, because of the wonderful woman Nita is.
Some of my friends in the past have felt pity for me, having to look for a new job in a new city, but this is part of the adventure. I was once convinced that I was going to retire with Pitney Bowes, as a 40-year career man. Unfortunately, the company and my superior (in job title ONLY) felt the need to eliminate my position. I have discovered since then that my skills & abilities are what companies are looking for.
But coming back to the discussion at hand, Nita’s employer has moved us from Toronto to Calgary, then to Edmonton, and now Vancouver. Calgary is a lovely city, and while we were there I was able to reunite with 2 old friends; one a high school chum, John, and Jim, an old kindergarten mate.
We were in Calgary for about a year-and-a-half. Chinooks were interesting, and I saw snow in every calendar month except July. Even so, we still enjoyed Calgary.
Edmonton is an interesting city, and one I probably enjoyed more than most other people would have. Nita’s family is there, and it was home because of that. I wasn’t welcomed into the family, nor was I treated like one of the family, I was family.
My daughters, from a previous marriage, are definitely family. Amanda, my eldest daughter, on a visit to Edmonton, informed someone who asked her about a piece of jewelry, explained that she had received it from her aunt, Nita’s sister. When I recounted the story to my wife, and then her sister later, there were a few tears. You might say it got a little dusty (I must credit Adam & Matty from one of my favorite podcasts, Filmspotting). But I stray once more.
Edmonton is one of the better cities in Canada to be a hockey fan. I, however, stopped following hockey when Ken Dryden retired, and moved to Edmonton long after Gretzky left.
A city, whose good winters contain about 15 or 20 nights were the nighttime low bottoms out below -40C is a really cold city. I had 2 winters where the count was over 30 nights below -40C; that was about 3 winters too many! So, off to Vancouver then!
When comparing the 2 winters, Edmonton and Vancouver (which my sister-in-law called “Mordor” last winter), I think I favor wet over white.
It was pointed out to me, on more than one occasion, that Vancouver winters are grey and it rains frequently. As well, when there is snow, people are incapable of driving on slippery streets. This is true. I have seen buses sliding sideways with 2 cm of snow, on hills that my 84-year-old mother could tackle on her bicycle!
Our first winter here was not as advertised. We had 3 December storms that each dumped about a foot of snow. How very Canadian to use both metric & British measurements in neighboring paragraphs.
We have been reliably informed by many of the long-time British Columbians that our back-to-back too-hot summers, as well as last winters snow-fest are an aberration. The previous winter in Edmonton, the snow banks on my driveway were taller than me before Christmas. So, if this is the worst you can throw at us, I can’t wait for normal.
I’ve been told to be truly Canadian you must define distances in how long it takes to drive. DONE.
You must use both the British & Metric system in a single discussion. DONE.
You must bitch about the weather. DONE!
I have been told to be truly pan-Canadian, you have to pan Canada. Sorry folks, not going to happen here. To quote Jakov Smirnoff’s old stand-up act “I love this country!!!”
Cheers folks.
I recently was chatting with the owner of the company I work for, and allowed him the opportunity to opine; “Is there anywhere you haven’t lived?” I have lived in, in order; Montréal, Ottawa, Gloucester (really part of Ottawa), Guelph, Whitby, Scarborough, Toronto, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, and finally North Vancouver. The first 7 cities are no more than 6 hours apart.
This may seem like a lot of moving to some of you, but not us. For those of you who don’t know me, my wife Nita works for a national organization, and has been transferred around the country a bit. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not complaining at all. Nita is the center of my being. She is my soul-mate and my one true love. My dedication to her has no bounds.
Moving has not been a sacrifice; it has been an adventure. It has always been a memorable adventure, because it is something we have experienced together. These are adventures that have made our lives exciting. These are experiences that I would not trade for anything, because of the wonderful woman Nita is.
Some of my friends in the past have felt pity for me, having to look for a new job in a new city, but this is part of the adventure. I was once convinced that I was going to retire with Pitney Bowes, as a 40-year career man. Unfortunately, the company and my superior (in job title ONLY) felt the need to eliminate my position. I have discovered since then that my skills & abilities are what companies are looking for.
But coming back to the discussion at hand, Nita’s employer has moved us from Toronto to Calgary, then to Edmonton, and now Vancouver. Calgary is a lovely city, and while we were there I was able to reunite with 2 old friends; one a high school chum, John, and Jim, an old kindergarten mate.
We were in Calgary for about a year-and-a-half. Chinooks were interesting, and I saw snow in every calendar month except July. Even so, we still enjoyed Calgary.
Edmonton is an interesting city, and one I probably enjoyed more than most other people would have. Nita’s family is there, and it was home because of that. I wasn’t welcomed into the family, nor was I treated like one of the family, I was family.
My daughters, from a previous marriage, are definitely family. Amanda, my eldest daughter, on a visit to Edmonton, informed someone who asked her about a piece of jewelry, explained that she had received it from her aunt, Nita’s sister. When I recounted the story to my wife, and then her sister later, there were a few tears. You might say it got a little dusty (I must credit Adam & Matty from one of my favorite podcasts, Filmspotting). But I stray once more.
Edmonton is one of the better cities in Canada to be a hockey fan. I, however, stopped following hockey when Ken Dryden retired, and moved to Edmonton long after Gretzky left.
A city, whose good winters contain about 15 or 20 nights were the nighttime low bottoms out below -40C is a really cold city. I had 2 winters where the count was over 30 nights below -40C; that was about 3 winters too many! So, off to Vancouver then!
When comparing the 2 winters, Edmonton and Vancouver (which my sister-in-law called “Mordor” last winter), I think I favor wet over white.
It was pointed out to me, on more than one occasion, that Vancouver winters are grey and it rains frequently. As well, when there is snow, people are incapable of driving on slippery streets. This is true. I have seen buses sliding sideways with 2 cm of snow, on hills that my 84-year-old mother could tackle on her bicycle!
Our first winter here was not as advertised. We had 3 December storms that each dumped about a foot of snow. How very Canadian to use both metric & British measurements in neighboring paragraphs.
We have been reliably informed by many of the long-time British Columbians that our back-to-back too-hot summers, as well as last winters snow-fest are an aberration. The previous winter in Edmonton, the snow banks on my driveway were taller than me before Christmas. So, if this is the worst you can throw at us, I can’t wait for normal.
I’ve been told to be truly Canadian you must define distances in how long it takes to drive. DONE.
You must use both the British & Metric system in a single discussion. DONE.
You must bitch about the weather. DONE!
I have been told to be truly pan-Canadian, you have to pan Canada. Sorry folks, not going to happen here. To quote Jakov Smirnoff’s old stand-up act “I love this country!!!”
Cheers folks.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
HST
Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again. Actually, probably more of a rant.
In BC, the provincial government has recently announced that it will be changing our sales tax to a blended HST (Harmonized Sales Tax). We currently pay a 7% sales tax, on selected items, at the cash register.
PST has allowed provincial governments across the country to decide which purchases should be exempt from paying extra tax, and which purchases help pay for government services. Someone in a wheelchair has been exempted from paying tax on their ride. Very fair. Funerals and haircuts have been exempt. Funerals are expensive, so good exemption. I don’t understand haircuts, but I can live with it; I still have hair.
Taxes are one of those things in life that are certain, like death & telemarketers. Taxes, once enacted, are hard to get rid of, like death & telemarketers. New taxes are usually good for the economy, at their inception. I’ll explain that point later.
Often forgotten, income tax was a temporary measure during the First World War to pay for our war machine. Most politicians start out sincere and dedicated to doing the right thing. Some retain these principles, some don’t. Case in point, we still pay income tax.
I was working for a business machine supplier in Ottawa when Brian Mulroney’s Tories brought in the GST, in 1991. Our company’s sales force was salivating over the prospect of selling between $2 million and $5 million of stuff to the new GST department. The GST was great for the Ottawa economy.
In 1997, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, & Newfoundland were the first to adopt a HST. I have no recollection of any problems at the time with exemption issues. Part of their reasoning at the time was to turn over the administration of tax collection to the federal government; a non-duplication or un-duplication of services. It actually did save them some money. The HST was also partially in response to the perceived double-dipping of taxes.
Double dipping on taxes was explained to us by various groups, including The Canadian Taxpayers Federation & the National Citizens Coalition. They told us how merchants were totaling a purchase, calculating the PST, totaling these 2 amounts, then calculating the GST.
GST being calculated on PST. This was horse hockey (Identify the quote!).This type of ploy is a political tool I call Fiction for Friction. Make up something that sounds possible, just to get some folks all worked up. The outraged usually end up shouting down everyone, while the reasonable are trying to say; “Wait a second, that’s not true!”
But back to BC. Gordon Campbell’s liberals are getting $1.6 billion from the federal government to enact the HST.
Pause. Think. React.
Why are the feds bribing the BC provincial government with my money? At least Ontario’s Dalton McGuinty is not being duplicitous about his $1.6 billion bribe; McGuinty will be sending Ontarians checks for $1000.
Colin Hansen, BC Finance Minister, has embarked on a campaign to tell us that the HST is good for us and that it is revenue neutral. He does not tell us who the “Us” is that this is good for. Is the “Us” actually the US? Or is it code for something else. The Usual Suspects?
As far as it being revenue neutral, I have heard estimates that the average British Columbian will pay out an extra $500 to $1000 in sales tax. I am reminded of the Frasier Crane line to Cliff Clavin in Cheers; “Cliff, what color is the sky in your world?” Colin,….
Stephen Harper, once president of the National Citizens Coalition, which opposes higher taxes, is bribing Ontario & BC into raising taxes on their constituents, with federal taxpayers’ money. My 84-year-old Mom in Québec is contributing to Gordon Campbell’s fund to hide his deficit. Not even Cliff Clavin could explain this one!
I miss Alberta.
Cheers folks.
In BC, the provincial government has recently announced that it will be changing our sales tax to a blended HST (Harmonized Sales Tax). We currently pay a 7% sales tax, on selected items, at the cash register.
PST has allowed provincial governments across the country to decide which purchases should be exempt from paying extra tax, and which purchases help pay for government services. Someone in a wheelchair has been exempted from paying tax on their ride. Very fair. Funerals and haircuts have been exempt. Funerals are expensive, so good exemption. I don’t understand haircuts, but I can live with it; I still have hair.
Taxes are one of those things in life that are certain, like death & telemarketers. Taxes, once enacted, are hard to get rid of, like death & telemarketers. New taxes are usually good for the economy, at their inception. I’ll explain that point later.
Often forgotten, income tax was a temporary measure during the First World War to pay for our war machine. Most politicians start out sincere and dedicated to doing the right thing. Some retain these principles, some don’t. Case in point, we still pay income tax.
I was working for a business machine supplier in Ottawa when Brian Mulroney’s Tories brought in the GST, in 1991. Our company’s sales force was salivating over the prospect of selling between $2 million and $5 million of stuff to the new GST department. The GST was great for the Ottawa economy.
In 1997, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, & Newfoundland were the first to adopt a HST. I have no recollection of any problems at the time with exemption issues. Part of their reasoning at the time was to turn over the administration of tax collection to the federal government; a non-duplication or un-duplication of services. It actually did save them some money. The HST was also partially in response to the perceived double-dipping of taxes.
Double dipping on taxes was explained to us by various groups, including The Canadian Taxpayers Federation & the National Citizens Coalition. They told us how merchants were totaling a purchase, calculating the PST, totaling these 2 amounts, then calculating the GST.
GST being calculated on PST. This was horse hockey (Identify the quote!).This type of ploy is a political tool I call Fiction for Friction. Make up something that sounds possible, just to get some folks all worked up. The outraged usually end up shouting down everyone, while the reasonable are trying to say; “Wait a second, that’s not true!”
But back to BC. Gordon Campbell’s liberals are getting $1.6 billion from the federal government to enact the HST.
Pause. Think. React.
Why are the feds bribing the BC provincial government with my money? At least Ontario’s Dalton McGuinty is not being duplicitous about his $1.6 billion bribe; McGuinty will be sending Ontarians checks for $1000.
Colin Hansen, BC Finance Minister, has embarked on a campaign to tell us that the HST is good for us and that it is revenue neutral. He does not tell us who the “Us” is that this is good for. Is the “Us” actually the US? Or is it code for something else. The Usual Suspects?
As far as it being revenue neutral, I have heard estimates that the average British Columbian will pay out an extra $500 to $1000 in sales tax. I am reminded of the Frasier Crane line to Cliff Clavin in Cheers; “Cliff, what color is the sky in your world?” Colin,….
Stephen Harper, once president of the National Citizens Coalition, which opposes higher taxes, is bribing Ontario & BC into raising taxes on their constituents, with federal taxpayers’ money. My 84-year-old Mom in Québec is contributing to Gordon Campbell’s fund to hide his deficit. Not even Cliff Clavin could explain this one!
I miss Alberta.
Cheers folks.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Family
Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.
I haven’t mentioned my wonderful wife Nita before. Nor have I mentioned my daughters, Amanda and Erin. One day soon, I will write at least 1 blog about each of my parents.
Our views on family are views we have developed over our lives. We also, as we grow up, learn the meaning of community. In our society, we usually have many opportunities and groups to our disposal which also help shape us. As my wife is fond of quoting; “It takes a village…”
When I was young, I became a Cub Scout. I joined the cubs at the ripe old age of 7, and stuck with it a few years. I learned how to fit into a group and how to socialize. My brother himself became a cub leader for his son’s troop, and then his daughters’ troops. He met many wonderful people with this organization, and introduced me to a few. The ones I remember most are Peter and Kathleen.
Many thinkers and philosophers have pointed out that we cannot choose our families. With the exception of marriage, this is true. I have been sufficiently blessed with my born-family, that I don’t really have an issue with this. Mostly.
I have 4 siblings. When we were kids, our older brother and sister would refer to my younger brother, Frank & I as the little guys. We didn’t have an issue with this. However, when our younger sister took to calling us this when she was 4 and we were 11 & 12, we asserted our birthright (being older) of telling her “We ARE the boss of you!!!”.
I have 2 wonderful daughters from a previous marriage, Amanda is 22, and Erin is 19. I have been complimented many times on how well mannered they are. When I have attempted to point out that it is they who deserve the compliments, it is usually pointed out to me that they have grown up to be who they by being brought up by their family, and as their father, I am at least partially responsible for how they turned out. Sorry girls, I’m not trying to make you sound like something I baked; an Amanda soufflé & an Erin torte!
All the while letting my girls know that I too am proud of the women they have become, I have extrapolated this logic, and let my mom know that she too has had a hand in how they have matured. After all, I learned my parenting skills from my parents. I neither formed my ideas nor beliefs from television, nor will I blame television for my shortcoming. (I know I must have at least one, I just haven’t discovered it yet.) I know my parents, as well as my siblings, have something to do with who my daughters have become.
There is absolutely nothing I would not do for my mom, my wife, and my kids. (Siblings? Maybe not so much.) I would give anything to any of these women. I know I would.
On September 13, 2006 Kimveer Gill went on a shooting spree at Dawson College, Montréal, strangely enough, my alma mater. Anastasia Rebecca De Sousa died at the scene, but we don’t remember her name. Television spent more time telling us about Kimveer, and less about Anastasia. Quebecers have remembered Anastasia with foundations, scholarships, but most importantly, a gun control law dubbed “Anastasia’s Law”. Television told us even less about Kathleen Dixon.
Television tells us that the ultimate sacrifice is to take a bullet for someone else. I mentioned Kathleen in reference to the cub scouts. I did not hear about Kathleen that day until I spoke with my brother. I still have yet to hear anything about Kathleen in the media. Being anal, and wanting to be sure I am not mis-speaking, I have even trolled Google & Bing looking up Kathleen & her daughter Meaghan. Results? Meaghan 48 hits, Kathleen 705 hits, Kimveer 31,331. Most of the hits for Kathleen and Meaghan are not about this Kathleen & this Meaghan. Most of his hits were about him.
Please indulge me & click on the links below, and then come back and finish this blog;
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2006/09/15/shooting-wounded.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxJ95PB11EQ
The first link is a CBC on-line story about what family is. The second link is a Youtube my brother posted. I would like to think that I would do the same for my kids, although I pray that I am never given the chance.
I have never had the opportunity to tell Kathleen just how much I respect her for what she did on that horrible day, until now. I am hoping that she gets to read this. She is one of the bravest people I have ever met. At the end of the Youtube, you can hear Meaghan cheering on her mom, and the last image is of a beaming and loving Meaghan.
Given that television did not tell us about Kathleen, but all about Kimveer, I’m glad I did not leave my kids to be raised by television.
Cheers folks!
I haven’t mentioned my wonderful wife Nita before. Nor have I mentioned my daughters, Amanda and Erin. One day soon, I will write at least 1 blog about each of my parents.
Our views on family are views we have developed over our lives. We also, as we grow up, learn the meaning of community. In our society, we usually have many opportunities and groups to our disposal which also help shape us. As my wife is fond of quoting; “It takes a village…”
When I was young, I became a Cub Scout. I joined the cubs at the ripe old age of 7, and stuck with it a few years. I learned how to fit into a group and how to socialize. My brother himself became a cub leader for his son’s troop, and then his daughters’ troops. He met many wonderful people with this organization, and introduced me to a few. The ones I remember most are Peter and Kathleen.
Many thinkers and philosophers have pointed out that we cannot choose our families. With the exception of marriage, this is true. I have been sufficiently blessed with my born-family, that I don’t really have an issue with this. Mostly.
I have 4 siblings. When we were kids, our older brother and sister would refer to my younger brother, Frank & I as the little guys. We didn’t have an issue with this. However, when our younger sister took to calling us this when she was 4 and we were 11 & 12, we asserted our birthright (being older) of telling her “We ARE the boss of you!!!”.
I have 2 wonderful daughters from a previous marriage, Amanda is 22, and Erin is 19. I have been complimented many times on how well mannered they are. When I have attempted to point out that it is they who deserve the compliments, it is usually pointed out to me that they have grown up to be who they by being brought up by their family, and as their father, I am at least partially responsible for how they turned out. Sorry girls, I’m not trying to make you sound like something I baked; an Amanda soufflé & an Erin torte!
All the while letting my girls know that I too am proud of the women they have become, I have extrapolated this logic, and let my mom know that she too has had a hand in how they have matured. After all, I learned my parenting skills from my parents. I neither formed my ideas nor beliefs from television, nor will I blame television for my shortcoming. (I know I must have at least one, I just haven’t discovered it yet.) I know my parents, as well as my siblings, have something to do with who my daughters have become.
There is absolutely nothing I would not do for my mom, my wife, and my kids. (Siblings? Maybe not so much.) I would give anything to any of these women. I know I would.
On September 13, 2006 Kimveer Gill went on a shooting spree at Dawson College, Montréal, strangely enough, my alma mater. Anastasia Rebecca De Sousa died at the scene, but we don’t remember her name. Television spent more time telling us about Kimveer, and less about Anastasia. Quebecers have remembered Anastasia with foundations, scholarships, but most importantly, a gun control law dubbed “Anastasia’s Law”. Television told us even less about Kathleen Dixon.
Television tells us that the ultimate sacrifice is to take a bullet for someone else. I mentioned Kathleen in reference to the cub scouts. I did not hear about Kathleen that day until I spoke with my brother. I still have yet to hear anything about Kathleen in the media. Being anal, and wanting to be sure I am not mis-speaking, I have even trolled Google & Bing looking up Kathleen & her daughter Meaghan. Results? Meaghan 48 hits, Kathleen 705 hits, Kimveer 31,331. Most of the hits for Kathleen and Meaghan are not about this Kathleen & this Meaghan. Most of his hits were about him.
Please indulge me & click on the links below, and then come back and finish this blog;
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2006/09/15/shooting-wounded.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxJ95PB11EQ
The first link is a CBC on-line story about what family is. The second link is a Youtube my brother posted. I would like to think that I would do the same for my kids, although I pray that I am never given the chance.
I have never had the opportunity to tell Kathleen just how much I respect her for what she did on that horrible day, until now. I am hoping that she gets to read this. She is one of the bravest people I have ever met. At the end of the Youtube, you can hear Meaghan cheering on her mom, and the last image is of a beaming and loving Meaghan.
Given that television did not tell us about Kathleen, but all about Kimveer, I’m glad I did not leave my kids to be raised by television.
Cheers folks!
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