Broccoli

Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.

When I was working at my business machine supplier in the 80’s &90’s, I was asked to help reorganize our local showroom, working with a tenured sales guys I’ll call Juan (The names have been changed to protect the ignorant, I mean innocent). He had grand plans to show off the most expensive computer system we sold, and was telling me how we were going to move around all the furniture and create the greatest showcase every seen anywhere, anytime!

After he graced me with this insight into his vision of how we would create the greatest display of technology on this planet, or any other (my wife refers to me as a snark-asaurus), I calmly explained to him that getting his fancy-schmancy computer required the sign off from the head of our IT department, as did all of our computer purchases. This is what followed;

(Juan) “Well the VP of our region asked me to set up this showroom properly, so it will be OK.”
(Me) “Very good, but we still can’t buy the computer without the approval of the director for IT.”
(Juan) ”Well the VP of our region asked me to…”

This went back and forth about 4 or 5 times until, in frustration, I asked Juan if I could tell him a joke. Somewhat confused, he reluctantly told me to go ahead (Although he probably will not remember, this used to be my brother Frank’s favorite joke; he would tell it with such relish. Anyone who knows Frank will flash to him “performing” a joke; it’s a Bradley thing, performing a joke.);

A young lad working at the grocery store noticed a woman searching through the stores produce department, and decided he would offer his assistance. To his query if he could help her find something, she replied “Yes I’m looking for some broccoli.”

“I’m sorry m’am, but we don’t have any broccoli.”

“I don’t think you understand; I’d like to buy some broccoli.”

“Yes m’am, but unfortunately we don’t have any in the store.”

“Now young man, I’m not sure you get my point; I have a wonderful recipe for broccoli soufflé and for that I would need to buy some broccoli.”

“I heard you, but we still don’t have any broccoli.”

“My husband’s favorite dish is broccoli soufflé, and I need the basic ingredient; broccoli.”

“OK lady, but I’m trying to tell you that we don’t have any!”

“I’m not sure you get my point young man. Usually when presented with broccoli soufflé my husband becomes quite amorous, and it has been an awfully long time since last….well…you know.”
Exasperated, the young clerk switches gears and asks the lady; “Hey lady, can you spell the cat in catatonic?”

“I don’t see what this has to do with broccoli, but certainly; C A T.”

“Great, now can you spell the dog in dogmatic?”

“Yes, D O G.”

“OK, how about the flip in broccoli?” (In the original version, it is a much rudder 4-letter word beginning with F)

Dumbfounded, she responds “There’s no flip in broccoli!”

To which he shouts; “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you lady, there’s no flippin broccoli!!!”

Juan chuckled appreciatively, yet still gave me a funny look. He immediately jumped back in with; “Now as I was saying, our regional VP has asked me to set the showroom up to show off all of our equipment, and we need to get the computer system in here to do that right.”

“Hey Juan” I answered, “There’s no flippin broccoli!!!”

“Yes that was a very funny. No about this computer system; you see our regional VP….” I can’t remember what else he may have said, because I was busy searching for Alan Funt. Yes it is yet one more age-defining statement.

When I am faced with someone who does not appear to hear what I am saying, I bring up this story and the joke.

I have unfortunately had the opportunity to tell this story too many times in the workplace. There are far too many people out there who get fixated on something and ignore all else. Sometimes when I am forced to tell this story to someone, they get the point.

All too often though, it’s another Juan.

Sofa King!

It’s OK Mom, you wouldn’t get it.

Cheers folks.