Pedestrians

Yes CJ, its story time with Gerry again.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a born & bred Montréaler. We instinctively have excellent self-preservation skills. The reason; Montréal drivers. My sister-in-law, returning from a Montréal business trip a few years ago, told my wife on deplaning in Edmonton; “I now know why Gerry drives the way he does!”

A Montréal driver may think he is to be feared, but at a very early age, the Montréal pedestrian discovers the one thing a Montréal driver fears above all else; his insurance payments going up.

While attending college, I was involved with an exchange with a college in Moose Jaw. In Moose Jaw, we were of course off to the pub. My host, Gary, parked the car, and told me the bar was just across the street, so off I went, in the middle of the block, crossing the street. While I was crossing, I noticed the police car, whose flashing red lights had fired up. I hurried across to get out of his way; he had some serious crime to take care of.

The cop got out of his car and asked if I realized that I had jaywalked. I told him no, I had no idea what jaywalking was. After he discovered that I was from out-of-province and wasn’t yanking his chain, he explained jaywalking to me. He was again dumbfounded when we had the same conversation 2 hours later when Gary and I left the pub. The next day, we had 2 more chats on the same subject. The last chat he started with; “So when are you going home, Montréal?”

Around the same time, author Josh Freed’s book “The Anglo guide to survival in Québec” was published. My brother went out to get the book so we could have a good chuckle. Halfway through the book, he burst out laughing saying “Oh my god! He’s writing about you!” My brother was referring to the section on pedestrians, specifically the part about Kamikaze Pedestrian. According to Mr. Freed, we dress in black, are happiest crossing in front of trucks & buses on unlighted streets, and do not look before crossing.

I admit to my brother’s characterization of me. He is absolutely correct. Josh Freed however is wrong. We do look; we just don’t allow drivers to catch us checking. Like Mexican drivers, if we don’t make eye contact, we don’t have to back down. Most Québec drivers subconsciously know this and respect it.

Us old-school Montréal Kamikaze pedestrians do have a secret weapon; we use The Force. After quick sidelong glances, we can “feel” what’s going on around us, and we know what we can get away with.

My daughters would freak out when we would be walking around Toronto, and all of a sudden Dad scoots across the street. After a very short while, I realized they were not blessed with my gift, so I would give them a heads-up “Let’s go!” They would still be a little off balance, but usually managed to cross the street with me. Relax folks, nobody died!

Most pedestrians today do not use The Force, and are completely unaware of any impending danger to themselves or others. I mean real danger; ambulances, lacerations, fractures, operating rooms; but worst of all, insurance companies!

I think we have too many distractions in our lives today; cell phones, MP3, iPods. I think people are losing themselves in these little worlds, and not paying attention to the real world around them. I don’t think there is malice involved, just short attention spans.

Perhaps we need walking schools. After all, most of today’s drivers have gone to driving school. How many pedestrian vs. car accidents could have been prevented if we forced people to learn how to walk in a busy downtown?

We are supposed to be sharing the roads. Drivers, wielding a 700 Kg to 1500 Kg moving vehicle, can expect to be fined when they try to bend the rules for their own convenience. Unfortunately, Police have far more important things to do than to try and enforce common sense in pedestrians, so we get to see lots of rules bend.

Here’s an experiment to try on your own. Stand on a busy street corner. Count moving violations by drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians. After an hour, the drivers will have a baseball score, the cyclists will have a football score, and the pedestrians will have a basketball score. When was the last time you heard of a pedestrian getting a ticket for running a red light?

My wife was dying to see how this post turned out. You see, in her eyes, I am both an insane pedestrian, and a crazy driver. Guilty on both counts sweetie. Dangerous? Not really. After all, nobody died.

Cheers folks.